A few months ago, childhood cancer was an abstract concept to me, something distant and outside of my orbit. Then, in October of 2015, my then 11-year-old son Beck began to feel tired and rundown. His appetite waned. He had a wound that refused to heal, no matter how carefully I addressed it. Then, right around Halloween, random bruises started appearing. None of these things connected in my head. My mind went to growth spurts, the challenge of beginning middle school, a full schedule, his constant full-speed pace.
Beck lives through his body. He has always moved fast, played hard, and been constantly on the move. He adores soccer and is an elegantly crafty player who will repeat tricks and skills endlessly into mastery. Baseball, tennis, football, running, gymnastics, dancing; he has always fully inhabited his sturdy body.
Then, on Halloween, Beck came out of his soccer game short of breath. Closer inspection revealed angry purple lumps and clusters of tiny pink dots on his legs. He was pale and tired. We didn't know what to make of it. Honestly, we thought: could it be scurvy?
In quick succession: call to kids' doctor, instruction to bring him to urgent care ASAP, the trip to urgent care, blood draw, THAT LOOK on the examining doctor's face, the news that THIS LOOKS LIKE LEUKEMIA. Ambulance, hospital, blood transfusions, chemotherapy started so quickly, infections, so many doctors, a whole new vocabulary, whole new world, a whole new reality, a whole new warp on time, a whole new "normal."
The last few months contain a lifetime of difficulty. But right now, in a moment of relative calm and good blood counts, we have a little time for some levity. And so I'll take an evening to join St. Baldrick's and Candlelighters NYC to celebrate Beck and all of the other children who go through the true battle with cancer.
And I'm shaving my head. I'm going bald to entertain my kid and to understand a little bit of how he's felt on the receiving end of the looks he's grown so used to walking down the street. But more than that, I'm shaving to raise money for childhood cancer research. Please pitch in! Even $10 makes a difference! Make my hair loss super duper worth it!
Kids' cancers are different from adult cancers, and childhood cancer research is extremely underfunded. My family has learned firsthand over the past few months what huge strides have been made in cancer treatment over the past 30 years, and boy are we thankful for Beck's increased likelihood of healthy survival. There is still so much to be done in this field, and you can help directly with funding now, here. (And your donations will greatly encourage me, as I begin getting the jitters about all my hair disappearing!) Thank you!
